i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
