no, he came in my armpit
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
