remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize