Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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