Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
