I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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