I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
