Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
