i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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