you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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