sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
