all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
