So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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