why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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