I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
