There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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