i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
