You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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