This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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