Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
