He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can I color on your dick again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
