he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
