From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
