I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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