We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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