We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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