First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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