It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize