My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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