it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
