She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
