ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
