Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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