You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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