if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
