Don't you send me to vm
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
