I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
