when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
