After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
