okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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