Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize