Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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