I need help removing her.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
