Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
