Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
