I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
