Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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