The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
