You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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