420 ftw
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
