I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
