After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Semen is not good for contacts.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
