The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
