Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
