dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
