I am full of burrito and curiosity
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize