My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize