And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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