her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Randomize
