you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
