Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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