meet me or not, i'm out of control
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
