This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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