And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
