5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
