Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Randomize
