Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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