i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
