I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
