I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
