i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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