how can u be prego again
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize