i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
