yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
