her vagine was all disorganized.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
