I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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