Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
